when a cop yells “freeze” you can yell back “now everybody clap yo hands” and he is required by law to start clapping or else he will be arrested for treason and possibly deported from the country
when old ladies are homophobic but have lesbian haircuts
what the fuck is a lesbian haircut??
them niggas in zoey 101 was like 12 workin in sushi restaurants but im 17 and mcdonalds wont call me back why life gotta be so rough
has “wheeeeeeeww” replaced “yaaaaas” ?
a guy i know was dating this girl called kate and on their two year anniversary they like went for a picnic and it was super cute and romantic but his friends thought itd be funny to prank him by hiring a skywriter to write ‘will you marry me kate?’ in the sky and so they did and she saw it and he thought it’d be too awkward to say it actually wasnt for her so he didnt say anything and now theyre married and he still hasnt told her
If we learned anything from the Mayans, it’s that if you don’t finish something, it’s not the end of the world.
hobbies include drinkely reading CNN at 2 AM
@ vane (fort how to rely)
both of my friends kicked me out because they were about to have sex LOL and here i am alone in my room with my roommate judging hard LOLOL
im drunk b;ogging lmao wussup